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Sunday 28 February 2010

Bullying allegations confirmed by aide

New revelations in the form of a taped interview between pro-Labour journalist Suzie Mackenzie and one of Gordon Browns closest aides, Dr Stewart Wood, appear to confirm that allegations of bullying behaviour at No 10 are indeed true.
Ms Mackenzie says she made the tape public because people have the right to ask 'Is Gordon Brown fit to be Prime Minister?'
'Of course he is, we elected him... oh no, that's right we didn't...'

Saturday 27 February 2010

Royal Snail...

Figures just out condemn the postal service as a failing institution, with almost one in four letters sent by first class post not arriving the next working day. The target is 93 per cent, performance was just 78 per cent.
This is the worst result for first class post in a decade and comes as Royal Mail prepare to raise the price of their stamps.
Some people don't know when to stop digging.

Friday 26 February 2010

Killer Whale

SeaWorld have confirmed that 'Tilikum' their killer whale, or more specifically their multiple killer whale, which drowned its trainer Dawn Brancheau in front of an audience at a show this week, will not be put down or released into the wild.
Since 1991 the male orca has killed two trainers and a man who sneaked into his tank. SeaWorld has announced it has "every intention of continuing to interact with this animal", for that read, new trainer, new show and for Tilikum a life sentence...

In the soup...

Soup contains as much salt as 16 bags of crisps.
The campaign group Consensus Action on Salt & Health have analysed the salt content in 575 soups sold in takeaways and supermarkets around the UK.
The highest level recorded was in a 907ml serving of Very Big Soup Bold Thai Green Chicken Curry which had 8.07 grams of salt, that's about the same as you'd get from eating three Big Mac meals with fries or 16 bags of Walkers Salted crisps.



Thursday 25 February 2010

Sex, trust and faith...

The House of Commons has passed a bill which requires state schools to discuss contraception and gay relationships as part of the new curriculum for sex education.
Ed Balls has denied that an opt-out in the way that faith schools can teach the curriculum means the proposals have been watered down. They will not be obliged to promote diversity and equality to the same extent as state schools.
The Children's Secretary amendment has avoided Catholics pulling out.

Wednesday 24 February 2010

'No.10 Unleashed the Forces of Hell'

Alistair Darling has claimed that No.10 unleashed Downing Street's 'forces of hell' on him in 2008 when he predicted that the recession would be much worse than expected.
He said he'd been 'smeared' by No.10 advisers.
Upping the stakes a bit, human rights group Reprieve are challenging guidelines for British secret agents on 'how to interrogate prisoners held abroad', suggesting they are illegal because they condone complicity in torture.
'Hell, smeared?' Oh, get a grip Darling...

Monday 22 February 2010

Bullying beefs up

The Prime Minister, Gordon Brown finds himself at the centre of a row with potentially devastating results. Is there a culture of bullying within No.10?
The opposition want an investigation, Labour ministers queue up to refute all allegations, and the press, sensing blood, pace the corridors of power looking for a cowed No.10 staffer with a fresh stapler bruise.

Sunday 21 February 2010

Bully helpline

The founder of the charity 'National Bullying Helpline', Christine Pratt, has lost the plot with Downing Street.
A newly published book details several alleged bullying outbursts by the PM Gordon Brown, which ministers categorically deny. However Mrs Pratt said she had personally taken a call from staff in the PMs Office. She said 'our leader should lead by example and follow due process'.
Perhaps the Chilcott inquiry could broaden it's remit?

Cold comfort farm

Once again we are in the thrall of the weather, with six inch dumps of snow thudding into the ground apparently at random.
The mean drop in temperatures this week look set to make it the coldest February for a decade.
Frozen yoghurt lolly anyone?

Argentine paper tiger


With drilling starting in the Falkland oilfields this week the Argentine government has, in a green eyed hissy-fit, decreed that any vessel moving between Argentina and the Falklands must have a permit issued by them.
I wonder if that counts for submarines too?

Saturday 20 February 2010

Tiger would...


Even as Tiger Woods was on stage in a Florida clubhouse making an apology to family and friends saying 'I thought only about myself and not those I was hurting', a porn star claiming to be a former lover was breaking cover and demanding he apologise to her. Joslyn James said she'd given up her career for him at his request.
Make your mind up Tiger...

Friday 19 February 2010

Toyota: Another safety probe


In the past the Japanese have shown no reluctance to commit Hari-Kari (ritual suicide) in order to maintain their honour. One wonders if Akio Toyoda, Toyotas Chief Executive will stick with tradition.
I suppose if we see him behind the wheel of one of his own cars we'll know he's giving it a bloody good go.
US safety regulators now look set to announce another investigation, this time into potential steering problems in the 2009 and 2010 Corolla saloons.

Falkland Oilands


It was always going to happen, from the moment oil was discovered around the Falkland Islands we were on a countdown to the Argentine Government getting the hump and muttering 'Malvinas' again.
Mind you this could be just what Gordon Brown needs, it certainly worked for Margaret Thatcher in 1982. Of course in 1982 we had a Navy... and an Army... and an Airforce to send.
Looks set to become 'the Mother of all kerfuffles'.

Thursday 18 February 2010

Passport Control?


Fraudulent British passports were used by the alleged killers of Hamas commander Mahmoud al Mabhouh in Dubai. Not surprisingly Hamas is blaming Mosad, Israels secret service. Of the ten alleged assassins eight are wearing glasses in their passport photographs, one can only assume that either there are a lot of short sighted assassins out there, or that they're wearing them as part of a disguise.

Wednesday 17 February 2010

Coalition collateral...


As the 'surge' goes on in Afghanistan the number of civilian casualties rises steadily. It's a dangerous place to be with a gun, whichever side your on, but it would appear to be even more dangerous if you don't have one...

Conservative cock-up


If you're going to cock-up a figure it really shouldn't be about pregnancy, but that's what happened to David Cameron this week as he quoted a Conservative document called 'Labours Two Nations'. He suggested that in the most deprived areas of Britain the under 18 pregnancy rate was 54%.

The figure was in fact 54 per 1000.

Tuesday 16 February 2010

New BNP recruitment poster?


The British National Party (BNP) voted to change their membership policy this week to allow black and asian people to join, a victory for common sense, although why black and asian people would want to join is quite another matter.
It got me to thinking though, if they've changed their policy to attract more voters, would they change anything else, like their attitude or perhaps even their name?
Surely now, it's only a matter of time before we see Nick Griffin rapping in a rasta hat at the MOBOs.

Saturday 13 February 2010

Royal Navy cuts and cutlases


The Royal Navy, along with the other armed services are bracing themselves for a mauling in this years defence review. The Navy expects to come off badly whichever party is at the governmental helm, with Trident and other projects looking expensive at a time when clearing the national debt has become an overriding priority. Rule Britannia?

Overtime over?


There's an old adage that runs 'Take care of the coppers and the pounds will take care of themselves...'.
However it would appear that the 'coppers have been taking care of themselves' very nicely thank you.
It emerged that police officers taking a work related phone call on their day off can claim a minimum of four hours overtime, even if the call only lasts a matter of minutes.
Surely this qualifies as a mugging.

Pontiff prattle


Pope Benedict XVI has been condemning British equality legislation to anyone who'd listen today. The legislation is in place to protect the rights of gays and women in the workplace and the Pontiff really isn't keen.
He's suggesting/demanding that exceptions be made for the Catholic Church, that sort of thing may have worked in Ireland twenty years ago but it doesn't seem to be cutting much mustard in the United Kingdom today.

It would appear you can take the Pope out of Germany but...

Camerons Law...


David Cameron has suggested that 'Burglars leave their human rights on the doorstep...' that is to say that when they enter your home they are fair game for some proportional violence without recourse to the law when they're carried out to the ambulance in a bucket.
I can see where he's going with it, but it could turn surprise birthday parties into bloodbaths, 'Quiet everyone here he comes..............'

Iraq Inquiry II


The rubber man

Election disfunction

As elections loom and the mudslinging starts in earnest, the evergreen spectre of 'Class War' is dusted down and wheeled out by Labour supporters the country over.
In fairness though, they might have a point this time round, the opposition front bench seriously looks like a snapshot of the Bullingdon Club.
In Conservative circles these days when one is posed the question 'eaten?' they're not asking if you're hungry.

Iraq Inquiry


The Straw man

More plop than push


A sixty year old woman has been accepted for IVF treatment, the mother and child are likely to have a lot in common, they'll both be eating food that's been whizzed through a blender for a start...

John Terry Shock


Not really news is it?
Footballer puts it about a bit, the Pope is a Catholic and bears do etc.

Friday 12 February 2010

Valentine Spider...


Spiders often get a bad press, but I have to admit to having a soft spot for them.
Not, you understand, in a climbing up my pyjama leg in the dark sort of way, but more in a 'well done them, the backroom boys, doing a tough job I wouldn't want to do myself' kind of a way.
A bit like the police really. Although I'd like to point out I have never removed a police officer from the house using a jam jar and a piece of card.