Vuvuzelas Sir, thaaasands of em'

In a far flung corner of what used to be part of 'the Empire', our boys are once again outnumbered and outgunned, moral is strained and resources stretched, however, this time it has nothing to do with a lack of helicopters or body armour, although a shipment of industrial ear-defenders wouldn't go amiss. As the Englishmen stand shoulder to shoulder they face of a wall of noise unprecedented in international football. Calls are afoot to ban the offending culprit, the vuvuzela, a long horn employed, it would seem, by every African fan at the World Cup, but instead perhaps we should just get our 'own' horns out there...