England out of World Cup

England have crashed out of the World Cup to the blare of vuvuzulas and cries of despair from fans who had saved for two years to be in South Africa to cheer them on.

A truly abysmal refereeing judgment robbed Frank Lampard of his goal, again raising speculation that goal-line technology should be employed, but even had the goal been allowed it wouldn't have been enough, the young German side totally outclassed and outplayed the lackluster England squad into a humiliating 4-1 defeat, their worst ever World Cup performance.

Capello has vowed to fight for his £6m a year job (no kidding), but last night the only coach the England team were interested in was the 52 seater taking them to the Airport.

England-1 Slovenia-0

England win a match at last and come second in their group behind the USA.

A visibly chuffed Fabio Capello said after the match "Theeth eeth thee theem thad I thaw een thee roonob tood thee whurlcub, hi amb berry berry abby!"

Just sixteen teams remain and England seem to have found their confidence in the resounding one-nil defeat of Slovenia (pop 2m).

Germany, the next nation to face the English onslaught must be wondering just what they will have to do to stop these behemoths of the field in their bid for glory. Asked the same question a German fan said "Turn up".

Go tell the Greeks

After some fancy footwork on it's figures, Greece has finally come to the conclusion that it's time to 'fess up and hold out it's trotter to the other members of the Eurozone club.

It won't be disappointed, Germany and France would be way, way too embarrassed to allow a 'Eurozoner' economy to fail, even if it deserves to.

Could this prove to be their Achillies heel?